Coming to grips with the surgery, almost 4 months later

Hi.
This is awkward.
I haven't posted a blog since January...
Yikes.
Do we need to talk about this?
Are you ok?
Am I ok?
Do we need to take another break?
Was it too intense?
Was it not enough?
I feel like I don't even know you anymore...
I think its time to make a permanent split.
I broke promises, you stopped caring, its a lose lose situation.

I need therapy.

Real Talk:
This surgery was a very big deal.  More so than I thought/currently think it was. I taught me a lot about my strengths and weaknesses.  It "cut away" at my delusional shell and brought into the light the fact that my body could not function the way it had before.   I may be healed, but I'm still feeling the after shocks.

Things you should take away from my experience.

A.  Take some time to get to know your body. As a singer we forget that we're athletes too, athletes know what every inch of their body is doing, and we have to as well
B.  Remember you are not perfect and that you are not a robot.  We all become weak at times and thats ok.
C.  Everyone is different.  DO YOU.
D. Katie Weber is a lovable psycho... Not lovable you say?  Well thats what my mom says....

This is the closing chapter of the Tonsils blog.... It's finally being laid to rest.

Sorry.

Love you?

K-Webs

ACTUALLY USEFUL INFO #juicy #obnoxious

FRIENDS

I MISS YOU

I'M SUCH A TERRIBLE BLOGGER

ITS BEEN OVER A WEEK

I'm sorryyy, but I had no motivation to write because.......

I'M BEGINNING TO HAVE A LIFE AGAIN

Things that happened this week:

• Made it through Christmas alive, and I was able to eat most of my dinner YAY.  That was everyone's Christmas wish right?

• Hung out some biffs from home and took this picture

• Went to see Les Miserables... .  .   .    .     .      .       .         .           .             .

• Realized that zero of my cloths fit, anddddd

• Bought cloths. I was right... Not eating for over a week and a half = weight loss

• Went to Panera more times than I'm willing to admit..... 

So beautiful So much bread

• Found out that I have zero strength... lol I can't lift anything anymore

• Came to the realization that Elephants, specifically African Elephants, are my favorite animals in all of the world... LOOK AT THEM:

SO ADORABLE

SO MAJESTIC

• And last but certainly not least....

***** STARTED TO SING AGAIN *****

AHHHHHHHHH EXCITEMENTTTTTTTTTTT

FINALLY YAY LOOK I'M EXITED.

Since I've only been able to vocalize for 15-30 minutes at a time, it's hard to gauge what my voice is actually doing.  I will probably start actually practicing repertoire later this week, it took a long time for my body to calm down, so I decided to take a little bit more time before starting to sing again.  As I've said before, my uvula was very swollen, my tongue was sore, and my jaw was giving me issues.  All of these are very normal symptoms of the surgery, and could happen to anyone, but they made me tack on about 5 more days before I felt comfortable singing again... This brings me to my new segment in this blog...

Singing things WHEE(These aren't funny so kill me yayyyy):

About 2 weeks in, once my throat and body took a chill pill(literally?) I started with humming, 3 times a day for 5 minutes at a time(What a tease).

Then I moved on to other exercises that my fantastic professor gave me to start getting back into singing, working out the muscles back there, and making sure that my sound was being placed correctly and not in my nose, which could happen.(If you are a singer going through this, feel free to ask!)

And that's it for the singing so far... X-ITI-NG RITE?!?!?

Other non "vocal" exercises that she recommended(and I really needed):

 Stretch your tongue over your bottom teeth, like you're sticking your tongue out or trying to touch the bottom of your chin with your tongue. During surgery they have to really get all of that out of the way, and there can be bruising/a little bit of pain in the back of your tongue muscle. I'd recommend doing it any time you're alone and remember it.  It doesn't feel good, but it WILL help you not have pain and tension later on, I already see improvement.

Deep yawn stretches will help get the muscles in the back of your throat back into shape.  For me, they were very irritated from the uvula, and just by forcing yourself to yawn/stretch, they will start to be less cramped.  Again, do these as much as you can remember to do them.

Warning, both of these do not feel good.  We all know I'm nuts, and maybe it's just me, but they hurt a little. Sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do, but that will be good for us later... Right boys and girls?

ANY-WHO

For all of you that read this part and aren't getting your tonsils out. You're sick freaks & I <3 U.

Amazing Tips Time.

These are things that I should have done and didn't, or did, but could have done more in one to two sentence blurbs. You're welcome.

1. Hydration is key.
2. Be prepared to sit, a lot. This is only half of a joke, seriously mentally prepare.
3. Give yourself time to heal, don't be a hero. Rest friends, rest.
4. Swallow swallow swallow swallow... Oh, and did I say, swallow?
5. Diluted Gatorade is the way to go.
6. Take your medicine.... Seriously stay on top of it and don't be afraid to ask for more. Set a timer and wake up and take it in the middle of the night, you'll sleep through your night time round and wake up in pain.
7. Protein is gud.  Eggs are awesome.

There are things that I can't remember right now.... I'll keep updating/repeating things over because again... I'M NUTZ

SHOUT OUT TIME:

I'd like to make a quick shout out to my dear friend Carmen who got his tonsils out very suddenly(They walked right out) on Thursday! I'm so very sorry I wouldn't wish this on anyone!

Inspiration of the day(week/month/year/forever....?):

Bryn Terfel - Stars (from Les Miserables)

Here is a poem about sining:

Singing

Is

Really

Fun

la

La

LA

I missed it

Wow that was lame sorry guys

I grow increasingly stupid-er by the hour

Hello. Have you had a nice four days off from my ranting and raving?

I hope you did because I certainly enjoyed not suffering through my own words... Terrible.  I do feel a small pang of guilt, maybe its all internal but I still feel it..... Poop

11 Reasons exactly why I didn't write a blog when I said I would:

1. I forgot about it
2. The world was ending
3. When I'm stressed and unable to move, I eat
4. Eating takes me a very long time now days
5. I've been feeling rather terrible lately and sleep is awesome
6. Sleep is great
7. I've been trying to think of a legitimate excuse but I couldn't so I failed
8. Sleep roolz
9. Maybe you're just to dependent on me, I can't entertain/burn your eyes out forever you know
10. Cookies
11. Sleep is like "Chee Burger", in that it's really really gud

 There, feel better now that I've explained? It's not you, I promise, its alllll me.

Any way I have a lot of very exciting things to catch you all up on... Very very exciting important things...

THESE ARE A FEW OF MY HILARIOUS THINGS

PAIN

Only one short paragraph, I'm not going to go crazy complaining...But it sucks. And worse then that, I had to go back to the liquid diet for the past couple days.  I DEFINITELY hit that terrible terrible relapse on Thursday.  The ear ache was extremely painful.  My jaw was having none of my shenanigans, and my tongue was all like hellll nawwww.  The good thing is that I'm pretty much moving up in the world... I'm on the road to recovery! But for now the drugs are still my frand.

 

Seriously though, not joking. Heroin is not your frand.

My MacBook

I'm not sure that I have ever spent so much time with one piece of metal as I have this computer over the past couple of weeks. I'm about to name it something cute... Suggestions? I was thinking something like "Best Computer Ever" but I'm not super creative...

LOOK, this cat loves it's MacBook too!

Gatorade

If you haven't noticed already, I'm having a love affair with a sports drink. It's the only thing other than narcotics that has been totally constant throughout this process. I should BE a Gatorade commercial. I just bought a 120 oz container of it so LOL.

LOOK IT'S ME... minus the sweat, being outside, nice weather, and cool bottle

Fashion

Friends, I am the picture of sick clothing. This has been my outfit for the past 4 days.  Hospital socks, leggings, a pink tank top(I have 2), an Eastman sweatshirt(represent) and if I got cold, I'd put on my ever flattering Syracuse Youth Symphony Orchestra sweatpants. I know, I get it, you all want my wardrobe. BUT IT'S MINE BACK OFF.  Seriously though, I could not be any more snug.

 LOOK IT'S ME.... minus the jeans, hair, makeup, and sufficient awk-ness

Diet

I know it sounds super chique, but I'm really really not sure how people do cleanses or crash diets or whatever. This is terrible!  Although I totally get the need to lose a few pounds... This is NOT the way to do it.  I have never wanted a hamburger so badly in my entire life.  I couldn't even cry about it, like I normally do, because it hurt to much. It's literal torture. Warm applesauce, scrambled eggs, luke warm Gatorade and my mothers pure love got me through Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. My collar bones and rib cage are seeing the light of day for the first time ever... I'm not sure I love it but my modeling career is really taking off, everyone wants a 5' 7" awkward looking goofball. Thats the body type they want right?

But last night, look what I not only prepared BUT ATE

 

LOOK WHO'S HEALTHY NOW

 

Snapchat

Well, here's an example... I'm sorry

Sanity

Totally gone. I'm not sure a person could be more crazy then I am right now.  People rehab is in my near future. Example:

LOOK, THIS REALLY IS ME LOOK AT THOSE PROTRUDING COLLAR BONES

Also, in the top right corner of this picture, you will see the socks I was talking about... Hot right?

Netflix

I get the obsession now it's growing on me.  I've watched some documentaries about WWII(love that stuff) and some classics, I'm on to Great Gatsby and I'm finally starting to feel like a true member of society.  Before drugs, I had ZERO patience, but when you're in too much pain to move you really start to understand the fine art of sitting still for more then 20 minutes... Who would have thought!

Anyway those are all of the EXCITING and EXTRAORDINARY things that I was just dying to tell you all about...  You notice I had to jazz them up with pictures... That's how exciting they are.

Otherwise I'm just getting better and better, eating more and more solid food slower and slower.  Yesterday it took me about half an hour to get down three ravioli.. PROGRESS.

Tips and Tricks for all of you who haven't caught on yet:

• Freaking take your drugs. I'm serious. It's the last time I'm going to say it. I know they taste like death and there is a lingering taste of agony for about 10 minutes but they are worth it...
•  By this time if you haven't already, try sleeping in a horizontal position.  You will sleep better and at least in my experience the mucous and scab stuff won't collect as much in your mouth overnight. Gross I know sorry my bad.
• Brush your teeth a lot.  I don't know why but it really helps with general life and also I think that oral hygiene might speed things up? Maybe I'm crazy. 

 Inspiration of the day:

(I know the opera world is buzzing with this, but I almost cried I was so excited)

Opera- On its Final Note?

A Poem Written for all of you who have yet to get your tonsils out:

Maybe someday

Someday you

You will

Will see

See me

Me as

As you

Scary thought

Thought maybe

Maybe you

You would

Would stay

Stay sane

WELL JOKES ON YOU BITCHEZ

Evil Day 7 aka Life Lessons with KWebs

Friends it's been exactly a week since my surgery(YAYYYY), but I've learned some sad sad news... I know this might come as a shock to you all,  and it pains me to say it, but......

I, Katie "B.a.m.f." Weber, am not Super Woman

I know. It's a lot to handle, and I understand if you can't read this blog any longer out of disappointment, but how was I supposed to know??  Ok I'm kind of kidding, but here is why I say this.

Last night I spent some long overdue time with some of my very favorite people. The cast of Grease! OMGOMGOMGOMG..... NO. Not John Travolta and Olivia Newton John, although their newest music video is... Well.... You decide: Music Video of the Year?

I mean Talent Company's Grease of Summer 2012!

Aren't we cute??

Anyway, I was feeling amazing yesterday and so I drugged up and went(with Chip driving of course) to go make cookies and watch christmas movies.  We had so much fun, and even though I wasn't able to communicate well, it felt SO GOOD to see all of them!

I had almost zero pain all through that love fest, and even before I went to bed. I thought I was cured!  It was all around the best evening I've had since my tonsillectomy. Bliss.

Jokes on me. When I woke up this morning I was in Pain Central. Yes that is a place. A place of pain. 

Ouch is right Super Baby

This is rough. I'm actually in pain. So why is this? Why can't I just bounce back? WHY AM I NOT ALL HEALED ALREADY?

Here is a real life lesson:

Overdoing it is good on paper, and it is terrible in practice. (You can quote me)

Go hard or go home? Yeah, in the business of post operative recovery that is an actual phrase.  You can not go back to normal and think you're healthy before the good doctors predict you will(unless you're a miracle) and expect to come out on top.  You will fail. You're just hurting yourself amigos.

In other news.... I'm pretty positive that this is the 5-7day thing that everyone always talks about but never really describes, so...  DISCLAIMER - I'm about to describe my symptoms.  While they aren't gruesome or gory or totally gross, I wouldn't recommend reading them unless you want to know because you're having the surgery, or if you are just REALLY interested in every detail of my life. In which case, thank you?  They're just a little bit icky sounding.

SYMPTOMS TODAY

• The first pain that I first started feeling was in my tongue. It's a sharp muscular pain, and it's almost where the tongue attaches in the back. For singers, it's like really terrible jaw tension.
• I then had pain along the edges of my scabs.  Very sharp pain that only happens while eating(sweet things especially) and or drinking very cold substances.  The pain can be reduced by drinking luke warm/room temperature water.  I think it's probably just becoming highly sensitive.
• I'm starting to get ear aches.  I haven't had them at all yet, but as of tonight especially they are pretty bad.  I haven't had to take as much of the narcotics lately, but I definitely had to today.
• It feels swollen in my throat.  It is not at all as bad as the first few days, but it feels like there is more material back there then there has been for the past day or so.

I warned you

Now that that's over. I hope all of you basic bitches are having a lovely stressful end to your finals weeks and that you can soon all go home and re learn what rest and relaxation mean... I'm slowly becoming an expert in finding positions to sit in where your bottom doesn't fall asleep. It's an art.

Tips and Tricks for all you hookers trying to make a buck:

• I'm just going to say it now.  By day 5/6, drink luke warm things, especially diluted gatorade.  I know I keep saying this, but it is the best drink I have had so far.  There is something about it that makes staying hydrated bearable.  Today drinking cold things was a nightmare.
• Try chomping on some pretzels. I know it sounds crazy, but if they aren't too salty, its actually a very nice dry crunchy food that won't be too irritating and that gatorade goes really well with.
• Eat protein things. Eloquent I know.  Eggs, protein shakes, maybe even some chicken at this stage in the game if you can.  I would probably stay away from anything spicy, but you need protein to heal.  I didn't eat any yesterday and look at me now.

Inspiration of the day:

(special request by Kelsie D.)

Let's have a Kiki - Scissor Sisters

A completely random Poem, full of words that came to my brain just now:

Pineapple tigers

Ready for the train

Making lots of cookies go

up and a-way

I'm going to make myself a little project for Friday's blog:

Unless something awesome happens and I really want to write about it(not likely), I'm going to make a day to day timeline for the first 8 days after the surgery.  Hopefully I'll be able to compile everything so that it all makes sense, and will be helpful.  I also owe Matt M. some song ideas so I'll be super busy.

SOLID #twss

Preface

The past two days have been full of new adventures. I knew that if I didn't group them into one blog that you all would fall asleep reading... And lets be honest, most of you don't need any help falling asleep(Shout out to ESM finals week.... haha bitches)

BrIEf dETaiLeD TiMelnE:

Sunday

10am - Wake up/drink an entire waterbottle to end the simulation of a desert in my mouth(thats what she said..?)

10:30am - Take medicine(thank you Dr. H)

11:15am - Eat some scrambled eggs(real food!)

12pm -5pm - Finish Season 1 of Downton Abbey - Fall asleep every once and a while - Snapchat

5:30pm - Get fed up and start eating PIZZA

6:30pm - Finish 1 tiny piece of pizza...

7:30pm - Watch another episode of Downton, because I'm now exhausted

8:30pm - Become totally bored and attempt to play the piano...

9:00pm - Give up and go back to watching Downton

10:00pm - Attempt to write a blog, and realize that if I wrote a blog about today, it would be a real reach...

1:00am - Pass out during an episode of the second season of Downton

Monday

Repeat of Sunday....

Except for the pizza. This time it was eggs, bacon and pancakes!

See, my friends? Aren't you glad I waited? I would have been forced to write uninteresting things two blogs in a row... And it sucks to suck.

 

Some Commentary

Sunday:

 
I was very daring early in the day and I tried some scrambled eggs with a little cheese, the saltiest thing I have eaten since Tuesday night. I know, I live life on the edge. Then, I did the unthinkable....

I ate a whole piece of pizza... !!!!!!!  It was a tiny piece and it took me about 45 minutes to finish, but its all about baby steps bitchessss.

It was actually Digorno but a girl can dream

Today I have much more movement with my jaw, which is super convenient... for life.  I also decided not to take medicine for as much of the day as I could, just to see if I'm actually getting better, or if its all the drugs.  I feel like its a good gauge of whether what you're doing to recoup is working.

Monday:

Holy moly this girl is on a role!

I not only finished all of Downton Abbey Seasons one and two, but I also ate all of my dinner... So:

 #winning

Today, I started to get really really fidgety... As a fairly social person I will admit to being a little self centered.......

 Me conceited? Never...

 But I swear one more day of trying to figure out if I need more medicine, where my pain is coming from, what is happening with my body, stalking myself on facebook... It can exhaust a girl!

I am hoping and praying that the pain is going to wear off... I can now kind of eat without taking too much medicine, but again, this is only the 5th day... I could be in deep doo doo very soon... And lord knows that would stink

Get it? Doo doo? That would stink? I'll stop

Also, as I said in my fantastically detailed timeline, I got to eat dinner with my family for the first time since I've been home. It feels like I'm starting to get back to normal.  Knock on wood.  This is such an interesting surgical post op.  As soon as you feel good, you then start to feel horrible, and you're not completely healed for about a month... Weird right?

I mean all surgery is weird, but I don't know if I've ever had anything so dramatic done before. It is making me increasingly aware that I am not a super human, and that I do understand when my body is telling me to slowdown so I need to LISTEN.



On a totally different beat, it's both hilarious and awesome that I have over 900 views on my blog so far... Who would have guessed that more people then my mom and myself would ever want to read this?  Thank you for staying tuned, and actually caring about what I have to say.  I really appreciate all of the love that I've gotten over the past few weeks before the surgery and the last 5 days.  I have fantastic friends and family!!

Tips and Ticks for you basic bitches:

• When moving to solid food:  EAT SLOWLY.  Make sure that you don't go crazy and take a big piece of pizza and just chomp down... You WILL hurt yourself.  I literally took an hour to eat that first piece of pizza.  And it was TOTALLY WORTH IT, but you really have to be careful.  Also, I wouldn't recommend eating pizza first... It is fairly acidic and can hurt... I was sitting there smelling it for about and hour and HAD to try and eat some. Plus applesauce does NOT fill a girl up
• Don't wait to take the medication.  Please. Don't be a hero.  Your quality of life is ALWAYS better.  Even if you don't want to take the narcotics, at least take Motrin or something.  Plus, the Motrin tastes good so you have NO EXCUSES
• You will be bored by about the 5th day, but don't overdo it.  Find things to do.

Katie's fool proof list of things to do when you get bored sitting around in pain

• Take a short walk
• Start a blog...
• Take over your friends newsfeed with puppies
• Start a tv show using your free week of huluplus...
• Make a friendship bracelet
• Splurge and buy some new music on itunes, you deserve it
• Do studying for the finals that you have to take next semester.........
•  Buy a hoola hoop.  It's not a lot of physical exertion, but it will get you preoccupied and moving enough so you don't start collecting blood in your legs.
• Fold the laundry your mother has been piling on top of you for the past 3 days to give you "purpose" 

Inspiration of the day

Beyonce - Run the World

A poem about my life

I love puppies

Send me cute puppies

I also like red pandas

Send me red pandas

Kittens

#seriousfirstworldproblems

Hi friends!

How are you? How was your Saturday? Are you almost done with school? None of you are answering these questions, I don't know why I ask.

Today I was no longer in a narcotics haze, so we're moving up in the world.

Tonight was also the first time I have ever actually cried over food....  Yes.  While my family was eating dinner tonight, I sat in my living room and shed TEARS.  All I wanted was what they were eating...

 

This is a glorified version of what they ate... AND I CRIED.

You guys, I don't know if you understand this...  I started crying over chicken and mushroom    soup... SERIOUSLY?  Although I blame drugs wholeheartedly, I think that's one of the battles of recovery: Not going crazy over eating only cold bland food.  I mean, I love popsicles as much as the next guy, but my friends, it gets old quick. 

 Me. Today. Minus the food in my mouth.

Developing story: I'm going to try and eat some solid-ish not really solid food tomorrow so that will be freaking breaking news in my recovery period.  I know you'll be sitting on the edge of your seats waiting, like you always are, to read the next sad thing I write. I have you all tricked into thinking that someday I'll write something actually funny...  HA PULLED THE WOOL OVER YOUR EYES DIDN'T I?

Talking is funny, on another note... I'm on strict vocal rest, but I tried to talk today, and... lets just say I sound GUD. Miss Piggy and I could be sisters.  It's fairly terrifying as a singer, although I know it will go away, but I laugh because I'm sitting here sounding like Miss Piggy re-working my career... THAT would be a laugh... Watch this it gives me comfort humor me:

 Miss Piggy Sings Opera - YouTube

Today is also the day I delved into Downton Abbey, so... I GET IT. IT'S GOOD. I'M ADDICTED.  Sir Bates, Sir Thomas... Drama.

I guess I have to make fun of myself now too...

Tips and Ticks, for all of you reading for practical reasons:

• Keep swallowing. Please.  It makes ALL of the difference.  My quality of life is 100X better when I really work those muscles.
• Keeping track of your medicine, very strictly helps you figure out if you need to be on the schedule that they give you, or if you need it more frequently or less frequently. 
• Sleep when you need to. I'm not saying stay up all night, but if your body is telling you to go to sleep during the day and you can't really fight it... Just do it.  You will heal faster and feel better.

Here is a poem about being hungry:

HUNGER
It changes
How you see the world
It changes
YOUR MIND

(I really like to play with form... Not that I spent more then two seconds on this poem, but the amount of syllables is symmetrical and the colors are too. I'm an artist. A word artist.)


Inspiration of the Day:

So cute. SO CUTE.


PS - I know. You and I are both thinking it... This blog is getting really lame, if it wasn't already really lame. But UNDERSTAND, all I've been doing is sitting around and watching TV if I even have enough energy to sit up, all day for the past 3 days... WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY ABOUT?

PPS - I've already lost weight. So parades for me and my shriveling frame.  I'm really going to try and eat something semi solid so cross your fingerzzzzz

PPPS - Do we like more color? Less color? Are you still reading?

KTHXBIIII

Medicine is your friend... Use it

Disclaimer:   The events in Connecticut are weighing heavily on my heart this evening... This is all I could get out of my funny bone today.  I will leave more serious thoughts for other social media venues of expression but this my warning to why this isn't that informative or funny...

Why you should listen to your doctors, by Katie Weber

I've been living in a drug induced fantasy world for the past few days... And it all came crashing down today.

Although the feeling of being home is possibly the best ever, I woke up this morning in so much pain, I just sat there, like a log, for about half an hour.  I then realized that the nice doctors gave me some very strong medicine to take care of that pain...  You would think a girl who got into college and successfully dresses herself every day(well, "success" might be a strong word) could realize that the doctors know more then she does about all of this post op pain...

Nope.

Then, throughout the day today, I didn't keep track of when I took my medicine... I then decide not to take anything until I know it's safe.  "Safe"? Seriously? You're in a lot of pain.  Take the children's liquid Motrin, Katie, PLEASE it won't kill you.

Tips and Tricks:

• TAKE YOUR PAIN MEDS. Please. No one is asking for you to be a hero here.  It is silly to try and power through without them.
• If you breath through your mouth at night, be sure to have some kind of cold ish drink next to you in the morning.  It WILL be painful when you wake up, but as long as you keep drinking and swallowing it will feel better.
• Eddie's Popsicles are really good. Shout out to my Nana. They're made with real fruit and have a wonderful creamy consistency.. Delightfullll

There will not be a poem, or any inspiration for today. Just go hug someone and tell them that you love them for me? 
I will be more light heart-ed tomorrow, but I think that for at least 24 hours, we can remember and mourn, like America should the events of today.

<3 Katie