Internet Tonsil Trolls

Here we are. It is exactly 2 weeks before my surgery....

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY HAPPY DANCE

I'm actually pretty terrified, but I mean, who wouldn't be?

 Every website I look at has awful scary horror stories... Like, I'm not kidding, people say that it is worse pain then natural un-medicated childbirth....

 

  

OH MAN, OH GOD, OH MAN, OH MAN, OH GOD

That is the problem with these online open forums. It's impossible to weed through the good and bad reviews.

Here is what I'm starting to grasp: This surgery is not something to be taken lightly. You MUST follow doctors orders.  Although I'm not sure why you wouldn't....? You definitely know more then a person who went to like 10 years of medical school and have a doctorate degree practicing medicine... JOKES

I also find it funny that people don't think that you need to take care of yourself post-op... Here are some choice quotes from my reading today:

"It hurts to drink water so I'm not doing that, but I'm trying to stay hydrated."

-Seriously?-

"This is the worst pain of my life. It's been three weeks and I'm still not healed.  I'm only able to eat ice chips and I've lost 15 pounds"

-Think of it as a crash diet?-

"My scabs opened up the 6th day and then again on the 7th.  I went to the ENT, but then it opened up again that night.  It's pretty much healed but I'm still in pain.  I'm on week 3"

-You're kidding... right?!-

After reading about 300 posts much worse then these, I crawled into a fetal position and cried for 10 minutes sucking my thumb and humming Kumbaya... I then wiped away the tears/snot that had collected on my rosy little cheeks and picked myself up off the floor to start this blog post.

I realized something very important during my time rolling on the floor... If someone had a great surgery and isn't having problems with their recovery, why would they go online and try and figure out what was wrong?

The internet is a vast wasteland full of people stretching the truth, commiserating with each other, and not actually fixing their problems.  How is an online forum going to help you after a tonsillectomy...  Help you find a good jello recipe?

Of course if you don't stay hydrated you're going to feel terrible.... that's how our bodies work.  You would think half of the people online were raised by wolves with no sense of hygiene, self care, or pain control.... I MEAN COME ON PEOPLE.

HELPFUL THINGS I FOUND(FOR ALL OF MY TONSILLECTOMY FRIENDS):

• Gatorade mixed with water is good to help keep up your electrolytes

• Keep hydrated, or else

• Try and stay away from dairy for a little while, it can create a film in your mouth that can be uncomfortable

I will start taking donations of jello, Gatorade, and ice chips now, as I am trying to milk this for all it's worth... Just kidding... Sort of.


Moral of the story, don't believe everything you read on the internet.  There is such a thing as TMI, just type in tonsillectomy, you'll get a TON of information you didn't want to know...


Here is another poem about tonsils:

For you, only you
Am I writing this haiku
Tonsils are scary


Inspiration of the day:

The girl in the heals... Are you kidding me?